Can Gender Be Neutral?

Can gender be chosen by each individual, or is it assigned?  According to one couple in Toronto, each child should have the right to choose his or her gender without any external pressure from parents and society.  They named their youngest child Storm, and they have not told anyone, not even the grandparents, the gender of their baby.  See the full article here:  http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

Why do they want their baby to be genderless?  They feel that society puts too much pressure on children to conform to specific gender roles.  Kathy Witterick and David Stocker, parents of Storm, feel that Storm should be able to wear whatever color he or she chooses, and to play with whatever toys he or she wants.  They have two older children, both boys, who wear pink and have long hair, but they feel the gender neutrality is not complete because their gender is known.  They want to let Storm make his or her own choices about his or her gender, and to be able to decide when to share that information.  But have they truly left the choice to Storm?  Or have they already made a gender-related choice for Storm?

We all impose our beliefs onto our children.  Children look towards their parents for direction, and form their values based on the parents guidance.  This Canadian couple is trying to let their children make their own choices regarding their genders and not imposing the choice on them.  But in doing so, they are in fact imposing two values on them; one, that parents don't have the right to make choices for their children, and two, that gender neutrality is preferable over defined gender roles.  The question of whether parents should or shouldn't impose their values on their children and make choices for them is a moot point because it is impossible not to do so, just as it is impossible to be genderless.