Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Parents are always hungry for entertainment, and we take it where we can get it because babysitting is expensive.  This is why you will see parents on the sidelines at kids soccer games getting more into the game than fans of competing teams at the Super Bowl.  This is also why parents seem to often be amused at their own insights into life.

So this is the reason I went off on a thought tangent today when I heard myself telling my son, "If you start a sentence by saying, 'no offense but,' then you probably shouldn't finish that sentence."  I realized as I was saying it that this is good advice for adults as well as children.  I thought about all the times people start sentences with things like, don't get upset but, or can I be frank, or would you mind if I tell you.  If you need to ask, then yes, I mind, and I will get upset, and you cannot be frank.  But you already know this.  Otherwise you wouldn't ask.

This got me thinking about things that are better left unsaid.  We all teach our children not to always speak their mind.  We say, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."  We have to remember to listen to our own advice.  Especially when talking to our children.  How often I hear parents insulting their children, in the name of honest parenting.  How often I do it myself.  Is it more important for my daughter's outfits to match, or for me to refrain from telling her it doesn't?   Is it more important for my son to score a goal in soccer, or for me to encourage him on the effort made during the game?  Although children need guidance, I think more often than not the criticism is better left unsaid.

Of course this is a difficult thing to balance.  How do you teach and guide your children, yet refrain from criticising?  And how can you spend all day caring for your children and for the house, and at the same time maintain the patience necessary to speak gently and thoughtfully all the time?  Well, I have some ideas, but I'm thinking that some things are better left unsaid...