Just yesterday at the grocery store, a very sweet lady observed verbally how well mannered my children were. Pleased with how courteously they spoke to her, she asked where they went to school, and was visibly impressed when I said they are homeschooled. "How will they learn to interact with others," she asked me. And later that same day, at the library, a mother of a very unruly 8 year old was pretending not to notice as her son began pulling books off the shelf one by one and screaming "BAM!" as they fell. She looked wistfully at my son, almost the same age, politely asking the librarian for help in locating a specific book, and she asked what school he goes to. I told her he is homeschooled, and her eyes popped open in curiosity. "Most of the homeschoolers I know are really weird," she said, clearly impressed with my son.
Even once skeptical family members are coming around. I recently spoke to a cousin of mine, who originally thought and said that the idea of homeschool was insane, but now was more open to the idea. "Why do you do it," she asked me, "were you're kids having problems in school?" I was so happy about this turnaround in attitude that I opened up and told her about how I believe in the more natural setting of the home, and in a closer parent-child relationship, and the individualized learning. She listened without any judgement, and said, "I could never do it." Another family member is opening up to the idea as well, and told me during a phone call recently, "how much longer are you going to keep doing this?"
Most of my friends have been pretty open minded about it from the start. But I've noticed even more openness lately. For example, a close friend recently asked me what the kids do on a typical day. As I went through the daily routine, describing how it is different every day depending on the classes they are taking or the trips scheduled, my friend listened very intently. Her face lit up with interest when I described how after a few busy days in a row we usually take a "lazy day" and do only about an hour of basic learning and then spend the day at home relaxing and reading and baking and playing board games and building lego. She understood that school children lack this type of family-centered day on a constant basis, and she said, "some of my best childhood memories come from school." I have a feeling if she had children she would homeschool them too!
A fellow high school teacher whom I used to work with was recently telling me how lucky I am to be out of school and homeschooling my children instead. She described how, even in the private school where she works, the level of education is rapidly declining. She lamented about how the classes are getting more rowdy and difficult to control, and she expressed how she was concerned that these students were not learning even the basics of manners and courtesy. I think she really exemplified this feeling I have that there is more open mindedness towards homeschooling. I told her that I agree with her perception of traditional school, and that I am very happy with homeschool. It was really uplifting for me to have a school teacher praise homeschooling, and when she said, "eventually you will have to put them back in school, right?" I knew we've come a long way.
Rivky, Whenever I read your posts, it always does such a great job of articulating many of the same things I am feeling or thinking but haven't had the chance to verbalize yet. People are always so curious when I tell them I'm homeschooling my girls. And I would agree many people are much more open to the idea of homeschooling even in the last year. I've had teachers say to me they think more families are going to start homeschooling because private education is so expensive and many times public education is lacking in teaching our children effectively. The response I usually get from other mothers is, "I think it's a great idea. I just don't I could ever do it myself." Either they think their kids would drive them crazy by being with them all the time or they don't think they have the skills. And depending on the day, I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel like I need a break from my children and sometimes I feel like I don't have the right 'skills'. But most days I feel very grateful to have my children around. I frequently think of a lecture I went to with a Rabbi who said, "What is education? The root word is educe. Which means that we don't need to be teaching our children a lot as much as pulling out of them what is already there." And what I see in my children is that what is already there is a great curiousity to learn about the world. I don't have to tell my 1st grader to memorize the Presidents of the United States, she will pick up books and read about George Washington or Abraham Lincoln on her own and ask questions. My children may have to go to school someday. I'm not sure if I can do this for the next 10 years. But I think the thing that keeps me motivated to homeschool is to allow my children to love life and love learning and my fear is that they will be put into a school where they are told what and how to think and what to do and they will become 'mini-adults' not children anymore. Brenda FAhn
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda. I agree that there is a tramendous curiosity about homeschooling. When people find out that I homeschool, their eyes light up with incredulous curiosity and they immediately have so many questions forming in their minds, they ask them all at once, too excited to wait for the answers. They want to know "how will the kids ever socialize" and "don't you go crazy all day with them at home?" They ask how I know my kids are learning if they aren't in school, and when I plan on putting them back in. And of course they want to know if my kids will become weird. I really appreciate this curiosity, and it's a big improvement from, "You what? Homeschool? That's insane!"
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