Deep Fried Jelly Donuts

December came and went, but not before it left behind a few pounds to remember it by.  I haven't even had time to blog, with all the festivities going on.  It sure has been a festive month!  And I can't speak for everyone, but I CAN say that I have had at least one too many deep fried jelly filled donuts this Chanukah, and at least one too many high calorie cocktails at at least one too many holiday parties.  My scale is not talking to me.  It wants me to make up for my overindulgence with extra exercise and three meals of lettuce a day.  But I have no regrets!  It was worth every joyous calorie!  Who will break first in this standoff?  Only time will tell.....

The New Watch

In order to get a feeling of what I am about to explain, you first have to imagine something else.  So here goes: imagine your 6 year old daughter saying, "Mommy! Look!  In our backyard!  It's a real live flying unicorn!  And it's pink and sparkly!"  Now take the tone of voice she said that in, with all the excitement and wonder and loudness, and apply it to this sentence: "Mommy, it's seven o'clock!" 

My daughter got a watch.  And she is very, very excited to know what time it is all day.  And boy do I mean all day.  I was woken up this morning by the animated proclamation that "It's 7 o'clock!"  Then I nearly spilled my coffee when she startled me with the exciting news that "Mommy, it's seven twenty three!"  Apparently it takes me four minutes to finish my coffee, because as I was putting the empty cup into the sink, I was given the update, "ITS SEVEN TWENTY SEVEN!!!" (accompanied by a really big, proud smile.)

The day progressed, and schoolwork got done, and the watch got forgotten, for half hour intervals.  But in between those half hours the family was treated to exciting real-time updates of what time it is.  And each time it was something different; sometimes it was one thirty, and sometimes it was four seventeen, and there was even a time when it was "ALREADY SIX OH TWO!!!!"  It was a very exciting day, every minute of it, or at least every thirty minutes or so.  Different times of the day elicited different levels of excitement, but perhaps the most surprising time of all was at night, and I 'm not sure what time this happened because it was after my time announcer had fallen asleep, when I did the opposite of what I was waiting to do all day.  After my daughter fell asleep, I picked up the watch from beside her bed, smiled to myself a surprisingly pleased smile, and put that watch right back down for her to find the next morning.

Turkey Day

It's difficult to describe the soft, mushy feelings I feel on my siblings' birthdays.  So instead, I'm going to talk about Thanksgiving.  Because, besides for the fact that today is the birthday of two of my sisters, (yes, they are twins, and yes, we are talking about something else,) it is also Thanksgiving.  So let's talk about how I feel on Thanksgiving.

I kind of feel happy and thankful for the day off.  The normal daily routine is so busy, that a day off with everyone home is like medicine for the soul.  I cherish days off with the family, and I look back fondly to the too few days off spent with my sisters, but we're not talking about them right now...  By late morning, the peace and serenity sound like this:  "Mommy I'm hungry can you make waffles and eggs and hash-browns?  And can we bake some brownies?"  So I say yes, and we have a big family brunch.  Then I get busy with cleaning the kitchen, and sometimes the stress starts creeping back in and I forget how much I love Thanksgiving and turkey dinners.  When I notice this happening, I try to keep my perspective positive.

The afternoon passes quickly until it is time for Thanksgiving dinner.  Consumed with the mundanities of life, in this case the act of using a fork and a knife, it is easy to forget about the deeper, more important things, for instance how delicious turkey tastes.  I start feeling amazed and surprised about how much I really love turkey, and that it is so incredible that there are two of them!  (There really were two turkeys at tonight's dinner, this isn't just a reference to my sisters.)  I feel a moment of clarity in this otherwise unclarified day, and I realize how much I missed those two turkeys.  Okay, this time I am referring to my sisters, so let me end by saying, happy birthday to the two cutest little twins in the world, who aren't that little anymore (although still skinny....) and don't you guys also miss the Thanksgiving dinners we used to have before we got too busy....

"Why Do You Do It?" And Other Praises of Homeschool

I'm noticing a big change in people's perceptions of homeschooling from when I first started a few years ago.  People definitely seem to be becoming more open minded about this nontraditional form of education, based on my observations of my own casual conversation with friends, family, and strangers.  I'm really happy about this, because as a homeschooling mom with an entourage of children always surrounding me, conversations always turn to homeschooling.  And it is really exhausting to constantly be defending what is already a very exhausting job.  So you can imagine what a refreshing feeling it is when strangers, friends and family find merit in homeschooling while grilling you about it.

Just yesterday at the grocery store, a very sweet lady observed verbally how well mannered my children were.  Pleased with how courteously they spoke to her, she asked where they went to school, and was visibly impressed when I said they are homeschooled.  "How will they learn to interact with others," she asked me.  And later that same day, at the library, a mother of a very unruly 8 year old was pretending not to notice as her son began pulling books off the shelf one by one and screaming "BAM!" as they fell.  She looked wistfully at my son, almost the same age, politely asking the librarian for help in locating a specific book, and she asked what school he goes to.  I told her he is homeschooled, and her eyes popped open in curiosity.  "Most of the homeschoolers I know are really weird," she said, clearly impressed with my son.

Even once skeptical family members are coming around.  I recently spoke to a cousin of mine, who originally thought and said that the idea of homeschool was insane, but now was more open to the idea.  "Why do you do it," she asked me, "were you're kids having problems in school?"  I was so happy about this turnaround in attitude that I opened up and told her about how I believe in the more natural setting of the home, and in a closer parent-child relationship, and the individualized learning.  She listened without any judgement, and said, "I could never do it."  Another family member is opening up to the idea as well, and told me during a phone call recently, "how much longer are you going to keep doing this?"

Most of my friends have been pretty open minded about it from the start.  But I've noticed even more openness lately.  For example, a close friend recently asked me what the kids do on a typical day.  As I went through the daily routine, describing how it is different every day depending on the classes they are taking or the trips scheduled, my friend listened very intently.  Her face lit up with interest when I described how after a few busy days in a row we usually take a "lazy day" and do only about an hour of basic learning and then spend the day at home relaxing and reading and baking and playing board games and building lego.  She understood that school children lack this type of family-centered day on a constant basis, and she said, "some of my best childhood memories come from school."  I have a feeling if she had children she would homeschool them too!

A fellow high school teacher whom I used to work with was recently telling me how lucky I am to be out of school and homeschooling my children instead.  She described how, even in the private school where she works, the level of education is rapidly declining.  She lamented about how the classes are getting more rowdy and difficult to control, and she expressed how she was concerned that these students were not learning even the basics of manners and courtesy.  I think she really exemplified this feeling I have that there is more open mindedness towards homeschooling.  I told her that I agree with her perception of traditional school, and that I am very happy with homeschool.  It was really uplifting for me to have a school teacher praise homeschooling, and when she said, "eventually you will have to put them back in school, right?" I knew we've come a long way.

They Grow Up Too Fast

I wish I could go back in time.

Ten years of changing diapers is exhausting.  There are times when I thought it would never end.  But now that my youngest is toilet trained I feel like it all went by too fast.  And diapers is only the beginning.  There is also sleep, and messes, and chocolate-milk-sippy-cups.  How many nights did I longingly dream of sleeping a solid 8 hours without being woken up by a crying baby?  Yet when I woke up rested and refreshed this morning, I realized it is a bittersweet pleasure.  I realize that I didn't fully appreciate the mess of toys all over the living room floor that I would clean up after the children went to bed each night.  This morning no one woke me up to give them breakfast, and when I stumbled into the kitchen, groggy with sleep and curiosity, I found my once-babies serving themselves cereal and chocolate milk.  Are you proud of us, they asked me?  Of course I'm proud, this is what I wanted, isn't it?  Self-sufficient children who let me sleep and who fold their own laundry.  And make their own chocolate milk.  In open cups.  It is exactly what I've been waiting for, for so many years.  And yet, as I smile at them for a job well done, I'm not sure I'm happy to be here, now.

I wish I could go back in time, and to yearn again for today.

"It's Not My Thing"

Life throws us all curve balls.  I actually have no idea what that means, because baseball is not my thing, but I think it means we all find ourselves in situations where our tried and true skills are not helpful, and we have to figure out how to navigate  in new ways which we might not have expected.

That is why I was so surprised today when my son didn't want to calculate the measure of the third angle of a triangle because, in his words, "math isn't my thing."  How could math not be his thing?  I've been a math teacher almost my whole life (not taking into account the times when I wasn't.)   Therefore, all my children have to be math people too.  Otherwise, it just doesn't add up.

So I told him that.  I explained that it is impossible to exist as a function of half my DNA, and not love math.  I told him his love for math should go from n to infinity.  I told him that if math isn't his thing, then he better make it his thing.  Because it is so important, for school, for the SATs, for college, for the process of logical thinking, and for proof that he really is my son.  Then I decided to ask a non-math question: WHY does he think math isn't his thing?

So he said he likes to be more abstract.  He said when he answers a math question, I take him literally and don't take into account the nuance in his answer.  He said he feels that math is lacking in hyperbole and metaphor.  But isn't the unknown variable a metaphor, I asked?  Not really, he said, because there is only one right answer.  He would rather work on subjects that allow him to come to his own conclusion than to the expected conclusion.

Well, all that doesn't really speak to my logical side, but maybe its time for me to embrace my metaphorical side.  Because he is my son, and although he does have my math genes in there somewhere, they are expressing themselves very differently than I expected.  It might not be the outcome I was looking for, but it's a shining star of an outcome nonetheless.  A very welcome curve ball indeed.

Things Are Not What They Used To Be... And They Never Were

Nostalgia is the practice of remembering the good things about the past and forgetting the bad.  I just made that up, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

Take high school, for example.  Which adult doesn't long for the teenage years, when we could spend all day with our best friends and our skin didn't have the hint of wrinkles yet?  I am constantly amazed at my high school students, who don't appreciate their good fortune of being so young.  I wonder why they seem so tense.  Tests and papers cannot be nearly as stressful as bills, child care and work deadlines.  And they get to spend all day with their group of friends, so why do they complain about cliques and bullies?  Looking back at my high school years, I remember feeling empowered to make the right decisions about my future.  So why do these young high school students seem so lost?

Childhood is another great example of something that looks better when you're on the other side of it.  An early bedtime is a dream for most adults, but not as much appreciated by the children on whom it is enforced.  I remember fondly the days filled with the freedom to do whatever you like.  So why are my children complaining that they are bored?  A childhood memory that stands out the most for me is jumping on the couches in our living room, I can clearly picture my hair bouncing and a big smile on my face.  And although I am sure that episode ended with my mother yelling at me to stop, I cannot remember that part.  The good memories stand out and take over our perspective.

Motherhood isn't always as it seemed either.  I observe my friend's baby crawling on the floor, trying to eat her rattle and stopping every two minutes to give anyone looking at her a big baby grin. I remember those beautiful days when my youngest was that age.  I remember the ecstatic smiles, the joy my baby would have just from someone looking at him. The newness of life, the excitement of bathtime, and the wonder at everything was such a pleasure to behold.  I share these thoughts with my friend, the new mom, and I wonder why she isn't sharing in my excitement.  Why is she nodding in half agreement with a partial smile plastered on her face?  Why she is yawning as I speak, and why does she look like she was too tired to remember to match her clothing?  I don't remember being that tired.  I just remember my baby's bouncy curls and mile-wide smile.